The Abilene paradox is a paradox in which a group of people collectively decide on a course of action that is counter to the preferences of many of the individuals in the group. It involves a common breakdown of group communication in which each member mistakenly believes that their own preferences are counter to the group's and, therefore, does not raise objections. A common phrase relating to the Abilene paradox is a desire to not "rock the boat".
On a hot afternoon in Coleman, Texas, the story goes; a family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests they take a trip to Abilene, fifty-three miles north, for dinner. The wife says, "Sounds like a great idea." The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out of step with the group and says, "Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go." The mother-in-law then says, “Of course I want to go. I haven't been to Abilene in a long time." The drive is hot, dusty and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is bad. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted. One of them dishonestly says, "It was a great trip, wasn't it?"
The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic." The husband says, "I didn't want to go. I only went to satisfy the rest of you." The wife says, "I just went along to keep you happy. I would have to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that." The father-in-law says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.
The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon.
This is a benign but dramatic illustration of the consequences of groupthink. Every member of the group agreed to do something they didn't want to do because they thought the others were committed to doing it. The result was that no one came away happy.
How many practices of the Church of Christ no one believes but not wanting to rock the boat remain quiet week after week after week?
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